Individual Therapy for Divorce and Separation

An ending can take up your whole life for a while. It does not have to define it.

Divorce and separation affect nearly every part of life at once. Individual therapy gives you a steady place to think clearly, manage strong emotion and rebuild on your own terms.

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Specialty

Individual support, not couples counseling

I want to be clear from the start: I work with individuals only. I do not provide couples or marriage counseling, and I do not offer legal advice. My role is to support you as you go through a separation, whether you initiated it, did not want it or are still deciding.

That focus can be useful. Individual therapy is a place where you do not need to negotiate, defend yourself or manage anyone else's reaction. You can say what you actually think and feel, and we can work from there.

People come to this work at different points. Some are still deciding whether to separate. Some are in the middle of negotiations. Others are years past the divorce and realize they never fully processed it. Any of these is a reasonable time to begin.

Individual therapy only
No couples counseling
No legal advice
Your pace

What separation can stir up

Divorce often brings grief, anger, relief, fear and guilt, sometimes within the same afternoon. It can bring practical upheaval too: a new home, new finances, a new schedule and new logistics if you share children. Many people describe feeling as though they are making major decisions while barely sleeping.

It can also shake your sense of identity. If much of your adult life was organized around a partnership, you may be asking who you are outside of it, what you want now and what you learned about yourself along the way.

Old patterns tend to show up under this kind of stress. You may notice anxiety rising before every conversation with your former partner, or a pull toward alcohol or overwork to get through the evenings. We can pay attention to those patterns without judgment.

Friends and family may have strong opinions, and some relationships may shift as people choose sides or pull back. It can be hard to know whom to trust with what you are feeling. Having one place where you do not need to manage anyone else's reaction can make a real difference.

You do not have to understand the whole story of the marriage before you can take the next useful step.

How therapy helps

We start with what feels most pressing. For one person that is sleep and steadiness. For another it is preparing for a difficult conversation, or deciding what to tell friends and family. We keep the work practical and connected to what is happening this week.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy can help when your thinking narrows into all or nothing conclusions, such as I will always be alone or I ruined everything. DBT skills can help you tolerate distress and respond rather than react when emotion runs high, which matters a great deal during negotiations and exchanges. Motivational Interviewing can help if you are still weighing whether to stay or go and feel stuck between two answers.

Over time, we can also look at patterns in relationships more broadly, so that what you carry into the future is chosen rather than repeated.

Co-parenting and communication

If you share children, you may be communicating with someone at the very moment you most want distance. Therapy can help you plan those conversations, set boundaries you can keep and stay focused on what matters most to you. We work on your side of the interaction, since that is the part you can change.

If questions come up about custody, finances or the legal process, those belong with your attorney or mediator. I can help you manage the stress of that process and think through what you want before you walk into those meetings.

Holidays, birthdays and school events can be especially hard in the first year. We can plan for them ahead of time, so you are not deciding everything in the moment while emotions are running high. Small, clear agreements with yourself about what you will and will not engage in often help.

Starting with a consultation

I offer individual therapy by secure video to adults physically located in Connecticut, New York or Massachusetts during sessions. In network with most major insurance plans, including Aetna, Anthem Blue Cross Blue Shield, UnitedHealthcare and Cigna, and a participating provider in the MultiPlan network.

If you would like support, begin with a free consultation through the Work With Me page. We can talk about where things stand and whether my approach fits what you need.

Therapy after a separation is not only about getting through the hardest months. Many people use it to understand what they want from the next chapter: how they want to spend time, what kind of relationships they want to build and what they are no longer willing to accept.

Common Questions

Questions People Ask

Do you offer couples counseling before a divorce?

No. I provide individual therapy only. If you and your partner want couples counseling, you would need to see a clinician who offers it. Individual therapy with me can help you think through your own decision and what you want.

Can therapy help if I did not want the divorce?

Yes. Being on the receiving end of a separation often brings shock, grief and anger. Therapy can help you stay steady, make practical decisions and slowly rebuild a sense of direction.

Will you give advice about custody or legal matters?

No. Legal questions belong with your attorney or mediator. I can help you manage the stress of the process and get clear on your priorities before those conversations.