Therapy for Grief and Loss

Grief is not a problem to fix. It is a change to live through.

Loss changes the shape of daily life. Therapy can give you a steady place to grieve, make sense of what has changed and find your footing again at your own pace.

On This Page

Specialty

Grief as a life transition

When someone important dies, the loss does not stay in one moment. It shows up in routines, holidays, roles, conversations and the plans you had assumed were coming. That is why I think of grief within the broader work of life transitions: something has ended, and life is taking a new shape whether or not you are ready.

Grief can also follow losses that are not deaths. The end of a long career, a move away from a community, a relationship that ended or a change in health can all bring real mourning.

There is no correct timeline or order for grief. Some days may feel manageable and others may knock you flat. That unevenness is common.

Grief can also change the roles you hold. Losing a parent may make you the oldest generation in your family. Losing a spouse or partner may mean managing tasks they always handled, or living alone for the first time in decades. Those shifts deserve attention alongside the sadness.

Death of a loved one
Loss of a parent
Losses beyond death
Anniversaries and holidays

What grief can look like

People describe sadness, numbness, anger, guilt, relief and exhaustion, sometimes all in one week. Concentration may be harder. Sleep and appetite may change. You may find yourself replaying the final months or conversations, or avoiding reminders altogether.

Grief can also be complicated by other circumstances: caring for a parent for years before they died, a relationship that was difficult, family tension about decisions, or the practical weight of settling an estate while you are still in shock.

Normal grief is not a mental illness, and I will not treat it as one. At the same time, grief can overlap with depression or with heavier drinking or withdrawal. If that seems to be happening, we can look at it honestly and address it.

Grief can be physical too. Many people notice fatigue, tension or a heaviness they cannot quite describe. Some find that ordinary tasks take much longer than they used to. These changes are common in the months after a loss and usually ease with time and support.

Missing someone deeply is a sign of what they meant to you, not a sign you are grieving wrong.

How therapy can help

Therapy offers a place to say what you have not been able to say elsewhere. Friends and family may be grieving too, or may expect you to move on sooner than you can. In sessions, you do not need to protect anyone.

We work at your pace. Some people want to talk about the person they lost. Others want help with practical adjustments: returning to work, handling a first holiday, or deciding what to do with a home or belongings. Solution-focused questions can help identify what is already helping you get through. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy can help when guilt or self-blame is running on assumptions that do not hold up. DBT skills can support you through waves of emotion that feel overwhelming.

Over time, the aim is not to forget or to stop caring. It is to carry the loss in a way that still leaves room for your own life.

Some people find that grief stirs up earlier losses they never fully mourned. Others notice that a loss changes their sense of what matters and prompts them to reconsider work, relationships or where they want to live. We can make room for those questions without rushing toward answers.

When to reach out

You do not need to wait until grief feels unbearable. Many people reach out when they notice they are stuck in one part of the process, when grief is affecting work or relationships, or when they simply want a steady place to talk.

If you ever feel unsafe or have thoughts of harming yourself, call or text 988, or call 911 in an emergency. This site is not monitored for emergencies.

Many people also wonder whether they are grieving the right way, especially if they cry less or more than others seem to. Grief looks different from person to person. Therapy is a place to stop measuring yourself against other people and pay attention to what you actually need.

Beginning therapy

I provide individual therapy by secure video to adults physically located in Connecticut, New York or Massachusetts during sessions. In network with most major insurance plans, including Aetna, Anthem Blue Cross Blue Shield, UnitedHealthcare and Cigna, and a participating provider in the MultiPlan network.

You can request a free consultation through the Work With Me page. We can talk about your loss and whether working together feels like the right support.

Moving or traveling between Connecticut, New York and Massachusetts does not have to interrupt therapy, provided you are physically located in one of them during every session.

Common Questions

Questions People Ask

How long is grief supposed to last?

There is no set timeline. Grief often changes shape over months and years rather than ending on a schedule. Therapy can help if grief is keeping you from functioning or if you feel stuck.

Is it normal to feel relief after a long illness?

Yes. After a long illness or years of caregiving, relief often sits alongside sadness. Feeling relieved does not mean you loved the person any less. Therapy can help with the guilt that sometimes follows.

Can I get grief therapy for a loss that is not a death?

Yes. Retirement, divorce, a move or a health change can all bring real grief. We can work with any loss that has changed the shape of your life.